1. Be Flexible.
Everyone has a way they'd do it. Any book you read, medical staff you speak to, friend you know has an opinion or experience that allows them to give you advice. None of them are wrong, but most of the time we receive advice, it is slightly different then the other person you asked.
...And that's OK!
This whole process is a learning experience. Each day is different as the one before, throwing new obstacles your way. You are going to take advice and it is going to fail. That is OK. Things are going to work great for your friend, and not work out for you... that is OK! I am a plan orientated woman, but my whole pregnancy and now motherhood has taught me that even with a plan, one must have an open mind and be flexible.
2. Sleep.
They aren't kidding when they say, "Sleep when your baby sleeps." I have had the opportunity to be Jude's Mama for a month now, and I still think it is important to live by this rule. My little man sleeps wonderfully throughout the night (fingers crossed this continues) but I still get up several times to nurse him, and we still have many intense days where all I want is a hour to sit and rest my eyes. When that is a possibility -- TAKE IT -- don't worry about your list (I am a list person) take the opportunity and lay down.
3. Photography
Document your time because it seriously flies by! Whether it is photography or videos, professionally or from your cell phone, document your time with your little one. My mom snapped a few photos during the birth, I had Breanna Rush Photography come in 8 hours after the birth to take some simple hospital shots, I took Jude's 1 week shots, and Gabe and I continue to take candids when we can. I'm also trying to remember to take some video clips, you don't want to miss, or forget, the moments.
4. Eat.
One of the coolest and most helpful set ups was this site: http://www.takethemameal.com
My sister in law set this up for me so for a month Gabe and I were taken care of when it came to dinners. The site is FREE to use and all you do is set up a schedule and friends, family, and co-workers can go online to sign up for an evening to take dinner to a family. {This can help with families that just had a baby, experiencing a loss, had surgery...}
Gabe and I are so grateful for each person that signed up and brought us a meal.
...getting back into the grove of cooking may be interesting. ;)
5. A Clean House.
Ha! Another fact: Now that you have a child, your house will never be "clean" again. You do the best you can. Stop apologizing to visitors... if they have kids they understand. The first 2 weeks home, my Mom and Mother-in-Law came over often to let me rest and help keep up with the chores.
{IF SOMEONE OFFERS, LET THEM HELP!}
You just had a baby. Yes there may be dishes in the sink, tons of laundry, and a bomb that went off in your living room, bathroom, and bedroom -- but it will get done and if it isn't you who does it, so what.
6. Help.
Adding on to number 5, you are only human... and you went from taking care of yourself, to taking care of yourself and an infant. Infant, (n) A little person who needs all of your attention, love, and energy - 24 hours a day/7 days a week/365 days a year. Allowing your parents and friends to help you anyway that would make this transition easier, is important to do.
7. Relationship with the Hubby.
To watch Gabe's face when Jude was born, was an amazing moment in itself. Starting the journey of parenthood has been no picnic, but I've been happy to have a teammate during the transition. Having good communication in any relationship is an important role, but having it while figuring out how to be parents is even more important! {And not just about how to raise your kiddo} Planning time to be husband and wife, even when there seems to be no time, is a challenge but key in a marriage. We are still learning, and neither of us is perfect, but we are doing it together.
8. Feeding.
Obstacle 1. PAIN - This is another one no one can prepare you for. I'm a "Go-Getter" type of person. Jude latched on wonderfully in the hospital. By day 3 though, I experienced cracks, bleeding, and the most painful chest that hurt even when Jude looked at them, let alone tried to eat from them. My milk didn't come in until Day 5, and to be honest that "feeling" you get that you know when it comes in... I was already in so much pain, that I don't even remember feeling that feeling. I knew my milk came in by the size increase of my chest.
Obstacle 2. Milk Production - I am a planner. I will go back to work. I want to continue to pump and feed my child. I'm organized. I'm descent with time management skills. I PLAN. So as I began pumping and my milk production was minimal, I immediately got frustrated and cried. How in the world do I begin to stock up for when I return to work, when I barely get an ounce each time I pump?
My Plan: Remain Calm, Don't get Frustrated, and Keep an open mind.
I've tried several opinions to increase my milk flow. None have helped during pumping. At first this really made me sad and a failure. Now, after a deep breath, I realize that there are other options and Jude and I have to find what works for us. Keeping an open mind is key. I know that I've tried everything I possibly can, and I need to adjust my plan to work for us.
9. Getting Involved.
It is amazing how many support groups and programs are available to utilize in our area. Most of them are even FREE. Some that I'm aware of are
- Breast Feeding Support Group
- Catholic Charities
- Parents As Teachers
- MOPS
*If you know of any more please leave information in the comments. If you want some more information on any listed above, please leave a question in the comments.
10. Everything Will Be OK!
Keep in mind NO ONE can prepare you for becoming a parent. You don't have to be Super Mom. You just have to be the best version of a mother, or father, that you can possible be. Your child loves you and you are doing great!